Robert Fulghum Journal Entries

My recent travels, musings, insights shared with you every Sunday.

Socks

My Sunday morning focus shifts from The Unimaginable to The Unbelievable to the Unmentionable.
But it’s less vexing to write about my socks, so . . .

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The Secret

“I’ve got a secret.”
Little kids say that. Secrets are delicious items of barter among the young. And they have great commercial value when we grow up. Books, magazine stories, internet ads, and spam are secret-laden:

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Message in a Bottle

Have you ever put a message in a bottle and thrown it into the sea? I have. Several times. In the Gulf of Mexico when I was a teenager. In the Pacific Ocean off California once in my thirties.
In the Sea of Japan – but I forget exactly when.
In the Colorado River twice in my forties.
And in the Mediterranean Sea when I was 50 years old.
Why? Because I am a romantic at heart and believe in serendipity.

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Fishing

Friends who well know my ineptitude with rod and reel may be surprised at my subject this week.
The old adage comes to mind – with corollary:
*Give a man a fish and you’ll feed him for one day.
*Teach a man to fish and he will feed himself for the rest of his life.
*Try to teach an idiot to fish, and he will annoy both you and the fish, but will starve to death if his life depends on catching and eating fish.

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Fighting Words

Never in my life have I started a fight in a bar – never. That’s a carefully crafted sentence. Yes, I have actually been in bars when fights started. And I have done my part in the fracas – I admit that.
But that was way, way back in the day – during college and the summers when I was a cowboy – when a little free-for-all dustup in a saloon on a Saturday night was part of the fun.

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Secret Skills and Talents

Can you wiggle your ears, roll your tongue into a tube, cross your eyes, raise one eyebrow, write with both hands simultaneously, touch your nose with your tongue, kiss your own elbow – things like that . . . ? This is a conversational gambit I sometimes use at cocktail parties and receptions and other occasions when people are standing around making mindless small talk.

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Chair

All In The Family was a situation comedy that ran on CBS television for 9 seasons – 1971-1979 – and is regarded by many as one of the best television series of all time. It’s creator, Norman Lear, is considered a creative genius. The program and its cast won just about every award the TV industry had to offer – for good reasons.

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Magic Beans

If you browsed around where I live, you might be surprised at the lack of books in my library. Visitors are sometimes surprised – “Where are your books?” they ask. Well, I actually do have a library –
But it’s in downtown Moab – called the Grand County Public Library.

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Glue

Most men think they can repair almost anything – they just need tools and time. “How hard can this be?” is a Man’s Mantra – “I can fix it.” Women friends laugh knowingly when I say that. But I have the secret of repair success: right attitude – right adhesive.

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Home

When I walk out at night I have a clear view of the stars – because I live in one of the places in the United States with the least amount of light scatter from human enterprise – in the mountains of the high desert of southeastern Utah, twenty-five miles from the nearest small town.

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Czech – Part Two

When I speak to a Czech audience, I always begin by saying: “Omlo valm say – Nem lu veem Chesky.” I’m sorry, but I do not speak Czech. Then my mischievous interpreter always says, in perfect English, “He says he is sorry, but he doesn’t speak Czech.”

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